Lately I’ve been thinking about the question “Am I enough?”  This is brought on in part from preparing for our next MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) meeting next week.  The topic for the meeting is “Courage to Forget Comparisons (You are Enough).

As a mommy of 4 tiny kiddos (all under 5) I look at my disaster of a house.  I hear other moms talk about working and caring for their kids, leading groups and attending the YMCA every week.  Taking their kids to soccer camp and school.  Just listening to all they are a part of and how they “keep it together” and keep their houses clean and what not makes my head hurt.  I can’t do it.  I can’t do all of that and stay sane or even be fun to be around.  When I do too much, I’m exhausted…and grouchy.  I don’t like the words that come out of my mouth, especially toward my children.

A couple weeks ago, I had the privilege to get away for a weekend in the mountains with some other mommy friends.  Late one night, we sat down and watched ”
Mom’s Night Out.”  We laughed as we watched the outrageous scenario unfold as 3 moms go out on the town for a nice supper, but instead find themselves searching the city for a missing baby, and end up at the jailhouse because of miscommunication (or none at all!)  As the main character, Allie, sits in the lobby of the police station talking to Bones, a tattoo artist and biker, she opens her heart to him and says “I’m just not enough!”

His response was filled with wisdom and truth.  He said “You’re not enough for who? the kids, Sean (her husband)….or not enough for you? … Y’all spend so much time beating yourself up – must be exhausting. Let me tell you somethin’, Sweetheart. I doubt the good Lord made a mistake giving your kiddos the mama he did. You just be you – he’ll take care of the rest.”

You can watch the whole scene here

Wow…How often do I look at what everyone else is doing as a mom and think, “I should be able to do that!”  I’ve come to realize that I can’t do everything that other moms do.  If they can do it, great!  But with what I hold dear, the things that are important to me as a mom, I can’t do everything else. Each of us has different strengths and weaknesses, things that we are awesome at, values we hold dear.

In our family, we value being together.  For us, that involves homeschooling, family dates, and evenings at home.  In order to hold to this, we can’t fill our calendar with all kinds activities.  Those things are awesome, helpful, educational, and bonding, but we have chosen something different for our family.  so how can I compare myself with families who are so different to begin with? I am enough!

Why? “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

We are Christ’s workmanship…His masterpiece! That makes you enough.  The King of Heaven and earth calls you His handiwork!  He makes you enough.  That’s enough for me!

“I’m a mess, but I’m a beautiful mess.  I’m His masterpiece.  And that’s enough!”  ~Allie, Mom’s Night Out


Coming Alive

These past couple months seem like I’ve been on a high speed train speeding down a bumpy (do I ever mean bumpy) track toward…nowhere or maybe straight off the cliff.  To begin with, I’ve had my struggles adjusting to a new life in a new place with no support system.  Throw the death of my dad in the mix and then the birth of my precious new baby girl just 2 months later, and I found myself wading through a sea of depression.  My 3 preschoolers needed me, but I felt like I had nothing to give.  My husband started working crazy hours, 60-70 hour weeks on average.  I felt alone with no one to turn to for help. With 3 preschoolers and a new baby, forget making time to blog, read a book or do the things I love. Most days, I just wanted to find time to take a shower and often times just make it through the day.

Not so long ago, a good friend and I were talking and she said to me “I feel like you are just surviving!”  Just surviving?  Really?  I, personally, thought things were getting better by this time.  I was sleeping through the night by the time Baby was 2 months old.  I was no longer crying myself to sleep because I missed my dad. I was making supper for my family again and taking the kids on regular outings to the park and library.  Things were good, weren’t they?

But as she said those words, I realized that I was just surviving.  Honestly, that’s a horrible place to be in. It’s lonely and exhausting.  There is no joy in just wanting to get through. It may be necessary for a time, but there comes a point where each of us must begin to thrive instead of survive. Sometime that week, my husband and I had a long talk.  He had been struck by her comment too.  Those words from a dear friend opened our eyes to not only our situation, but also our attitudes and perspectives.  I feel like over the last 2 months, I’m coming alive again.  We were not created to simply survive. We were created to THRIVE.

But what does it mean to thrive?  As some would say to, “Bloom where you are planted?” For me, it meant being okay with the messiness of life. I don’t have it all together and I can’t always be happy.  I can’t have the toys all picked up and the laundry done.  Sometimes it means ordering pizza or going out for tacos instead of having a healthy, home cooked meal.  It’s finding what you enjoy and throwing yourself into it.  Taking care of yourself  (that includes sleeping when it is possible).  But most importantly, it means realizing that this life is not perfect and there are seasons of grief and seasons of joy, but through it all, “the joy of the Lord is my strength” (Nehemiah 8:10).

In the midst of contemplating what it means to thrive and how that is possible, I heard a song on the radio by Casting Crowns called Thrive. You can listen to it here

There were 2 phrases that stuck with me as I heard this song for the first time.  The first was

Like a tree planted by the water
We never will run dry

So living water flowing through
God, we thirst for more of You

Psalm 1:1-3 says that those who delight in the Lord are like a tree planted by the rivers of water.  Trees need 2 things to thrive: water and sunlight.  Yes, the soil and nutrients found within it are important too, but water is vital to the health of a tree.  My garden was a testament to this this year.  With all the craziness, I think I watered it 4 or 5 times all summer.  It was a very dry summer and my yield for the year?  Probably only a dozen rhubarb stalks, 5 cucumbers, one meal of green beans, and a handful of tomatoes.  It needed WATER, yet it died of thirst…literally.  When we are thirsty, a part of us dies too.  We no longer thrive, we survive.  Christ is the living water and as He flows through us, He is joy and strength.

The second phrase that stuck with me was “we were made to thrive!” God did not create us to simply get by.  He created us to thrive as we commune with him. Some days this is simply enjoying my children.  Others it’s turning my heart toward Christ as I watch a sunset or hold a sleeping baby in my arms. It looks different every day. But one things is for sure, it has been so wonderful to discover what it means to thrive these last 2 months.

Ahh. How refreshing it is to drink and be filled.

What does it mean to thrive to you? Are you surviving?  Or are you thriving?